I had another CBT appointment– thankfully not many more to go. My therapist and I just cannot understand each other and get into these circular arguments. As an aspie, I am looking for clear, concrete, tangible and literal advice that I can follow. As a therapist, she is determined not to advise me in any way. A typical discussion goes something like this:
Therapist: "So, what things help you to feel less anxious that you are not presently doing?".
Me: "Uh, yoga, I guess. Getting rid of the tension in my body also gets rid of some of it in my brain."
Therapist: "Oh, that's interesting."
Me: "So, you think I should do some more yoga then?"
Therapist: "I'm not saying that! I am not here to provide solutions! All solutions must come from you!"
I am left bemused and frustrated and wondering what I am doing seeing the therapist, as clearly, if I could solve my own problems, I may as well be sitting in my house not seeing her.
Today, I’ve decided to find this funny and I giggled all the way through my
appointment. The therapist told me I was clearly happy about something. I said
I wasn’t happy; just amused at how we couldn’t understand each other. The
therapist says there wasn’t anything particularly unusual in having communication
problems between herself and her clients. Was that meant to be reassuring?!? She
doesn’t know anything about autism and is relying on me, the person with the supposed communication
disability, to keep her right. She is also strangely at peace with her lack of knowledge and doesn’t seem to see the need for her to learn anything about autism before
seeing me. I find this quite disturbing. It was a relief to get home. These appointments are enough to make anyone anxious and sad. I think things will be better once these appointments stop.